Today I got into an argument with one other Quran over one of my articles on Quora. In my answer, I tried to make a point regarding true love and My readers are familiar with my definition of love.
Everyone knows that gorgeous feeling when meeting someone new, and being in a relationship with some who you love. and It’s truly irreplaceable experience one can have. But what’s involved in this process when we love someone. Do we really experience love? How can you measure how much someone loves you? Love isn’t black and white and I will tell you why.
The person which attacked me over my Quora answer determinedly tried to convince me what love truly is? The person then asked me the same thing multiple times:
“Do you know what true love actually means?”
“If you ever want to find true love first thing you have to understand what love means, and what it means to be a loving person….” Etc., etc., etc.
This woman saw my answer, didn’t like it and made her personal mission to type “love” and the word “means” hundred times just because she owns a keyboard. I honestly can’t say I see any other reason and logic behind her response. Nevertheless, I will copy here what I had to say to her:
XYZ Thanks for reply. Take your time to read my comment. 2 Minute read.
I think many people still believe in love as you put it:
”I will do anything for the man I love”.
Did you notice what did you say after that?
“Because… he deeply loves me in return”
This doesn’t make him your soulmate, it means you two only use each other for rather selfish reasons. Let me explain:
If he didn’t love you back what possible use could you have from him?
If he didn’t return favors and ignored your needs, would you love him then? The answer is no. People think they are madly in love, but fail to understand that love is the most misunderstood concept of all time.
You two have great conversations, have great sex, spend great time together talking → This is not called love, you can have same thing with stranger xyz. Every relationship is based on mutual benefits, you call this love, and this is fine. You argument may be now:
”Well then, if every relationship is based on mutual benefits, what benefits do I have with for e.g. enjoying my late night conversation with friends?”
This is exactly the reason why you choose to spend time with these specific people → You have a great time with them, and you like what they have to say, they are smart, full of knowledge and sometimes they can make you laugh. See the benefit here? You are using Your Late Night Friends so they can make you feel something. It’s important to develop lateral way of thinking which I can see you’re lacking for some reason.
Furthermore; Yes, woman subconsciously knows that supporting her husband or boyfriend to make great things will also benefit her later, and her future children. Doesn’t this make any sense to you? This isn’t unconditional love that you like to refer to, so true love doesn’t exists. Benefits from supporting your ambitious man directly reflects on you, and your family, and as soon as you realize that love is just a fancy word for mutual benefit you’ll see the world as it really is, not rainbows and sunshine.
And my final note: unconditional love doesn’t exist either. If you partner cheated and you, and beat you every day, would you still love him? NO.
Because your condition upon which you entered in relationship with specific person is that you expect respect and caring from that person in return. See? Nothing is unconditional. Only stupid and people with low self respect sign unconditional agreements.
Only by one circumstances I validate unconditional love. And it comes from PARENTS → CHILDREN relationship. Parents will always do anything to protect and insure their kids safe future, no matter what. Thanks for reading!
I hate to break it to you guys, but “true love” is not only hard to find but very hard to maintain too.
And let’s not use the term “true love” anymore. Let’s use my next favourite term “life companion.” Why is it so hard to find the right life companion? Someone, who’ll stick with you in a permanent relationship?
It’s hard because people aren’t picky enough. They live in scarcity mentality, the mentality that offers you one option and nothing else.
Allow me to draw an image for you:
Let’s assume you own a business. Your base of clients is expanding, you already work 16 hours and you decided it is time to hire someone. Now, you’re aware of the risk, this person you hire has to know things you know, has to be good with people, good with numbers –> This new hire actually has to serve as your extended arm. If you fail to hire a good person to do the job correctly you’ll end up broke and may even have to shut down your business.
People don’t have the same criteria when choosing a person who will not only help me run a business but live with them, for the rest of their lives. Eat food on the same table, under the same roof, raise children that you two created together. Why people sacrifice so much just because in the name of love.
Yes. You should love and care for your romance partner, but have some goddamn standards. Please understand that you’ll need to spend at least 60 years (if you’re in your twenties now) with the person you THOUGH might be good for you but turned out it is not. Find my article on traits you should be looking for in a future wife and think before you shoot yourself in the foot next time.