You Read That Right.
Things or facts that our parents and society taught us were and still are all wrong. I will make sure, actually scratch that – I will burn my hand if I have to, but my kids will know the real price of living on this planet, this forced labor that we call freedom, coexistence with people we hate, whether they come from work or even from our own family all these things drain our energy to be productive.
Nothing is free, everything has an expiring date and I will teach my kids to never, ever sacrifice their only priceless asset they possess – TIME on people who will on their first chance throw them under the bus. If it comes to that, it will be my children doing the deed. And I’ll salute them because it takes a lot of guts to own a backbone these days. Down below you’ll find qualities I will teach my children and so should you. The first and most important thing is the…
1. Power of Saying ‘No’
Let’s face it. No one wants to be on the receiving end of a no, it can be devastating. There are people who can afford to say it, and otherwise people who can’t. But everyone can practice.
When I worked in Tobacco shop we were told to never sell tobacco to teenagers who were 18 years old or younger. It was very uncomfortable for me to ask people their age because some people looked like they were 15 but were actually 27 years old and I could turn out to be a jerk plus the whole “I’m sorry” didn’t really help either.
But after one of my colleges got fired because inspection caught him selling, I knew I had to force myself to say “No, show me your ID… Sorry… I can’t sell it to you”. They usually tried to talk me into it, by throwing small poisonous guilt darts but “NO” was my only and final.
How will I tell my kids to do?
- Make it quick – When people notice you’re hesitant they will try to find a weak spot. Tell that person the reason behind your “NO” and make it clear it is your final answer.
- Suggest an alternative – If they are still pushing, make it clear again why that is not possible and suggest they can have y instead of x.
- Be honest – Saying “NO” just for the sake of it will piss people off, then, you’re just an egotistical, arrogant, sadistic prick. Instead, stand tall and with calm, deep voice address why the thing or service they want is simply not possible.
Some people might think that you are still nasty bastards and that’s okay because my kids will be…
2. As Selfish As It Can Get
Look. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, and you probably (If you’re human) love them too. But the shit I was stuck in numerous times I can thank only to them, my family who unfortunately wanted the best for me. Hence in their attempt to make a superhero out of me, I was most of my life total wimp. How? I was not selfish enough.
I could’ve won the Nobel prize – if they had one – for most caring and kind person on earth and beyond. I was the local victim of my parents, my teachers, my ex-girlfriend, my boss. Every time my (selfish) girlfriend wanted her needs meet I would compromise my integrity because I cared too much. Being unselfish and putting everyone else’s needs before yours bring more harm not only to you but to others too. Let’s rebrand this supposedly bad trait to prove how being selfish actually helps you and people you care:
- You’re taking finally matters in your own hand and there won’t be anyone else to blame
If you stop pleasing other people, you will soon learn that if things go wrong you can only blame yourself. Over-giving yourself, time, money and energy to people who don’t deserve it you will start to develop serious resentment towards them. Practise being selfish and you’ll know what I mean.
- You will have more free time to do things that you love
You know how time consuming pleasing others can be? I used to reschedule my priorities due to my ex girlfriend who lived almost two hours away just because she felt lonely. WHAT THE flying FUCK. I often complained “But you could come over to me, instead” and then her poisonous darts start aiming me on their own. After our breakup I felt relieved and finally free to do things like writing, spending quality time with friends, going out, reading, etc. Really, I can’t put it into words how stress-free I was when I put my needs first.
- Sometimes being selfish will allow you to be more generous to others
Have you ever been in a plane? They strictly advise you to if it comes to turbulence, or any other kind of unexpected trouble you should put your own oxygen mask FIRST, before assisting anyone else. Man, that pilot must be a selfish dick right?
But, the truth is how could you help those around you if you’re unable to help yourself first? How could you possibly share love, great stories, help your family financially when you don’t have love for yourself first?
How could you share your stories when you’re busy living other people stories?
How can you help anyone financially if you have nothing to give?
It’s impossible. Make yourself a priority. Read Dr. Robert’s A. Glover “No More Mr. Nice Guy” for more information.
3. Don’t Pity The People Who Have Less Than You (and don’t throw them advice either)
Don’t call them names, don’t belittle them, don’t judge them but please don’t pity them. Why? Because you’re only wasting your time. Pitying someone over something never brought anyone any good. As a matter of fact, those guys saying:
“Oh man, he had everything: his wife left him and is now boning Char Thundercock, he had to give in his house, 50% of his cash and the kids are living with her, his dog died and now he eats from trash bins, I hope he gets better”.
Are you fucking kidding me? Those who pity others are usually the most selfish people out there. Instead of being a wise-ass, why don’t you actually do something about it then? It’s sooooo easy to be the GENERAL after the battle is over. I know so much people who are like this, spineless hypocrites. Even in my family.
Why you shouldn’t try to give advice to others? I learned this the hard way but people don’t want to feel like they’re being coached, I tried many times to help and finally learned on my own skin that people don’t like being coached, even if it is for their best well being. I lost many friends this way and I decided it is for the best, that I keep my mouth shut and just listen to them crying from now on. I don’t know why, but hey, who am I to complain, right? RIGHT?
But there are more things, so stay tuned. Click here for part 2.